Jon Bellion has a song entitled, “stupid deep” the first line to this song feels like the perfect chord in the orchestra of my thoughts. It goes, “what if who I’m meant to be was always me?”
Gunshot, brains splattered everywhere, blood on all the furniture.

That was pretty much my mind blown, when the song eventually hit me a couple of weeks ago. I mean did you read that, “what if who I’m meant to be was always me?” You probably should just go ahead and listen to that song before you proceed reading this,
Suit yourself,

(A tree, just moving from moment to moment, season to season)

Before turning 25 I was absolutely in my mind dreading life and pretending to have myself all figured out, but the truth is that I was more confused than before. Let me explain my situation,
Society can make you dizzy if you’re not certain about your moves, about yourself, myself. I always thought there was more, to everything, every conversation, every idea, I would and still occasionally overthink them all.

Overthinking because I was not living in the moment. It’s like this, imagine if superman spent more time thinking of how he can be a good superhero. So when the moment to be a good superhero comes around he would probably miss it because, well his thinking about it more than just allowing the moment to determine and learn from it.

Morgan Freeman said it best when he acted as God in Evan almighty. Mr Freeman’s character told Lauren Graham’s character, ” Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?”

That question, read in Mr Freeman’s voice, gives me chills all the time, more so now with the realisation. I had to come to a point where I realized, life happens in real time, not in the thoughts in my head. Not when I need to picture next week’s idea, not even the next few months. Be in the moment Shash allow every aspect of who you think or want to be, to be tested in the moment.

Not in the hopes of a created moment when it will have further meaning for my life, just now when it is the next step to becoming the person I want to be. One small win, continuously to being the person I want to be.
What if who I’m meant to be, was always me? Right!?


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