Chimamanda Ngozi describes feminism rather beautifully I think.
“Feminist; a man or woman, who says, Yes there is a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better” – Chimamanda Ngozi
Its not a suggestion that there might be a problem, neither is it a question of if there is a problem. It should be as loud as gunplay, there is a problem.
As a man, before I read, “we should all be feminists.”(thank you chimamanda) I sort of, kind of, knew there was a problem. But the females I heard speak of it the loudest left a disconnect with me.
My inquisitions matched with rebuttals. Every raised hand fuelled with deeper vengeance. The message was lost, as messenger and man retreated with bitter tastes in their mouths.
But after reading it, I began to see the simple slights that caused inequality. Unfortunately ladies most guys can’t connect because it seems that the whole tale of feminism is drowning in anger and hate(this is what it looks like from the outside).
This technique has worked and has been effective for so long but now most times than not, its hitting a brick wall. Its not that men don’t care or don’t want to care its just that no one sits them down and talks to them.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result –
Just talk, if you’re inclined tell him of the horrors you’ve been through. Let him know that he also contributed a few times in making you feel like three fifths of a person.
I look at Chimamanda, and she teaches of a progressive way forward without having to feel like you’re compromising yourself in a way. Both men and women can do better, we must if we are to build a place free from prejudices of any sort.
To move forward however, we would all need to work together. All of us. Women, Men. This is the most basic battle of them all. The battle to freely choose what sort of people we individually want to become. Prejudice should hold no place in the future. Prejudice should hold no place in the present.
And as we all are, hurt people, hurting people, maybe we can find a common place to start our journeys to understanding each other better. To bridging the gap.