I usually don’t speak about my father, because well I don’t know the man. Up until a few years ago I didn’t even know his name, let alone his birth or death day. Someone pointed out, I may have unresolved issues in that area. I find there maybe truth in that and thankfully now I do have a male figure in my life that I look up to for guidance.
Before that, I was mostly surrounded by strong women who nurtured me. This is also amongst the reasons why I do not shy away from openly discussing the men are trash movement. Because to ignore that there is a problem with “equality” among sexes as we know it would be to do a great injustice towards all the women who have taken turns raising me.
Unfortunately this is not the story for every other boy making the transition to “manhood”. Trust, I know it’s scary having to teach yourself some of these things. Or worse still for those who find it awkward to be told what you should or shouldn’t do as you transition to manhood.
While I was still in primary school, one of my many mother’s sat my brother and I down. As we waited for Zesco to turn the electricity switch back on we made a fire and she begun to give us “the talk”. No lies, she sat us down and told us truths to this manhood thing. We had the sex talk and I knew all about condoms that night and STIs and protecting myself and others by not being careless.
What I’m trying to say is, I bet it’s uncomfortable regardless of who tells you, but appreciate the people who take the time to have these awkward talks with you. These awkward talks save lives, information is power afterall, learn it and use it wisely.
If you’re over 18 I personally feel the time for excuses should be done. If the opportunities to learn and grow have not been made available to YOU, then it’s time YOU took the steps to ensure you are informed.
I’m hardly an expert so I won’t pretend to have all the answers. But I feel because I’ve been blessed over the years with more than one person feeding into areas of my life, I can probably use what little knowledge and understanding I’ve gained to also help a few others.
Considering that Mulenga’s Diary is complete I think I will start a new series concentrating mostly on the things I will see as the weeks progress and hopefully tell stories to provide understanding and maybe even create uncomfortability in others that they choose to ask me questions and hopefully we can all contribute to being our communities keeper.
If you’re confused and you just want another voice to come in and possibly give advice, feel free to shoot questions and if need be I will try get help from those more experienced than I am.
Not everyone is at fault, but everyone is responsible, it does afterall take a village to raise a child and now we are a global village.
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