I have chosen to speak on the men are trash movement again because i feel like the movement attracts all the wrong attention and most people get stuck in the argument of meaning rather than the cause it stands for.
No. I’m not a pro in the world of feminism, but i have had the pleasure of interacting with a few which made me curious enough to stumble upon Chimamanda Ngozi. I read, “We should all be feminists” and it was as if a veil was lifted.
In honour of unlifting veils i would like to share my thoughts again in hopes of generating a progressive conversation that ultimately leads to some form of understanding.
For if the men understand, they can aspire to do better. Thereby, one day challenging and changing the narrative for the next generations to have different problems of their own, that we won’t understand.
All I see is, men are trash!
For men, are trash.
It took me reading, “we should all be feminists” to identify that I was trash or rather I had trash tendencies I needed to start unlearning.
For a while that statement bugged me.
I mean, am no rapist. But it took reading, Chimamanda Ngozi’s writing to realise that the men are trash movement is not necessarily for the rapists.
It’s for the boy or man carrying with him negative ideas of a womans place in society. The disrespect we show all the women when we tell our daughters they can not play sports. Or when we just want to place them in a tidy box, like hey lil man, you can be whatever you want in life and so can you lil miss except you just can’t do these things.
It is understandable, we come from different times. My mother’s generation is the generation of hard workers. So the man would go out and bring back the food. I get this!
But we no longer live in the times of being Macho or big boys don’t cry.
Our privilege should allow us to notice an injustice in our time. A great error. We live in a time where my mothers and my sisters constantly show us that they deserve a seat at this table. So why is society so against the idea of change, especially positive change?
Why is the change brought to me when clearly I didn’t pay? Why does the greeting start and end with me? Is she not deserving of simple courtesy?
You might murmur and disagree with me but until you notice how disrespected women are in some of the most slight mannerisms, you will never see the reason to change.
It’s never a problem until the discussion is about your daughter. Do you want your child walking down the street with no one to respect her? With everyone thinking that your child is just a tool for their amusement.
I get it, the statement, “Men are Trash” does not digest well. I equally get the fact that being attacked by feminists to answer for all men is just as frustrating.
So imagine you’ve been frustrated for a few years now because of the men are trash movement. However, she’s been taught her whole entire life to be afraid of men in one way or another. She has been taught that her body is not hers to a certain degree and that she should hide herself from the eyes of men.
The only time I had to hide myself growing up was playing hide and seek but she has been hiding most of her life cause she’s afraid YOU will seek her out.
You do not have to like or agree with the MEN ARE TRASH movement but if you don’t search yourself as a person(because this thinking is both in women and men) to discover what prejudice you’ve been carrying with you all these years then you will never understand why they say men are trash.
You will always get angry. I cringe every time I see a post about Men being trash, I cringe because now I can relate to the aspects of my being that for all the years of my life I had not bothered to take note of.
The movement was created to make men cringe and take a closer look and identify within themselves what prejudices they have been carrying and what they can do to change themselves.
If you’re a man and the, “Men are Trash” movement gets you angry then that is good. Be angry and direct your anger firstly towards yourself. Discover what negative prejudices you’ve been carrying with you all this time and change the narrative for the next generation.
I grew up and found things are complicated and the world is a dangerous place. But I have nieces and nephews and maybe one day I’ll be a father to a beautiful girl. I do not want my little girl to be scared of the dark. I do not want anyone’s child to be afraid of the dark ever again!
Its difficult to explain from a males perspective how affected I now become when I see a member of my gender do such destructive things.
To see action being taken and also to see us hold hands as we strive to have the patience to educate each other as we step into a safer future.
I hope we can all find the patience to take a deep breath and think of how we can make changes that cause ripples for generations to come.
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